My thesis project , For Your Eyes Only, explores my personal experiences with mental health. Using the process of making and slow stitching, I developed my own art therapy and meditation that helped me realize the growth and progress I've made with my depression. It helped me reflect on the good and the bad experiences I've had while going through depression while giving me the space to accept my flaws, mistakes, and myself as a human being.
The quilt represents that part of myself that has remained hidden for a long time. It represents my voice and my outlook on my depression now. For Your Eyes Only is me shouting to everyone about my experiences and letting out everything that I have held in for so long.
The quilt is a mixed media conceptual art work that requires me to meditate through sewing in order to make myself vulnerable and open to my audience. Everything in this quilt is intentional and represents the challenging, experimental, and chaotic elements of my life with depression through the various stitch patterns and layering. The back of the quilt represents the progressing but unfinished process that I am currently going through with my depression.
This study allowed me to self reflect by revisiting my dark thoughts and dark experiences and practice acceptance within myself. Through the process of this study, I have been able to self actualize and learn who I am as a person, along with realizing that depression is only part of me and does not make me who I am.
The title, For Your Eyes Only, is inspired from a saying that I had in the inside cover of one of my diaries. It plays off of the idea of my quilt being a secret – so reading it is just like reading someone’s diary – but because it’s qualities (size, personal matter, etc.) I want to create an intimate space and have a conversation between the viewer and my quilt. This quilt has made a huge impact on my personal growth and self-realization. I hope that it will inspire my audience and touch someone who may have went, or is going through, the same things I have (and still is) going through.